i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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