We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I queefed so loud it echoed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
