While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just pee around me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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