smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
