Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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