Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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