stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
