thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
