Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
