Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
