matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
