it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
