Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
