does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
