is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
