he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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