that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I believe in your delicious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
