nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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