You really coming over, don't trick.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
