I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
