I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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