he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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