shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
not ubering you a puppy
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
