sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
