i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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