This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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