I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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