redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
