worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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