the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
and you fell through a lawn chair
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
