is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
