I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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