he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
last night I used snow as a chaser
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
