I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
