I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
