dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
