I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
