he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
