I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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