Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
