all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
