my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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