Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
