it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
