Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
