I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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