I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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