I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
