Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He called his prostate his "boner button".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
lol hangovers are for mortals.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
