i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
