You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
